Date and time: lunchtime 27 May 2019.
Scene: Restaurant La Terrazza & Roppongi, Mykolaiv
Cast: two directors of MFC Mykolaiv
DIRECTOR 1: An uneventful morning then. All that’s happened is that our new manager has arrived, has been fired, and his replacement has arrived. Am I right?
DIRECTOR 2: Yes. And of course as mere directors we have no reason to have expected a briefing from the chairman.
DIRECTOR 1: I suspect that is indeed the chairman’s view. So what do we know of the new man — the new, new man, that is — if anything?
DIRECTOR 2. Goes by the name of Grigor Pasha.
DIRECTOR 1: Pasha? What is he, a Turk?
DIRECTOR 2: Bulgarian, I hear.
DIRECTOR 1: Yes, well, as Ukrainians we’re clearly incapable of producing our own managers. And who has he managed before?
DIRECTOR 2: Nobody, as far as I know.
DIRECTOR 1: Great! But don’t tell me: he was a wonderful player and, as we all know, wonderful players never fail to make wonderful managers.
DIRECTOR 2: I doubt that he was a wonderful player. I know things were different in the 1980s but I still don’t think wonderful players spent their career in the Bulgarian third tier.
DIRECTOR 1 [sighing]: And what’s he been doing since the ’80s? Coaching?
DIRECTOR 2: No. I gather he’s been out of football. Working as a ‘security consultant’.
DIRECTOR 1: Ah, that might explain things. Our chairman doubtless knows him through his ‘security’ network. Which suggests that information about the appointment will remain scarce.
DIRECTOR 2: And, before that, this Pasha fellow worked in shipping. Initially in the merchant navy.
DIRECTOR 1: Well, we’ll have to hope that makes him the man for the job. We are, after all, known as ‘The shipbuilders’, the football club that came from the Black Sea Shipyards. We’ll have to hope that make it a match made in heaven. Or dry dock, at least.
DIRECTOR 2: You know, I wouldn’t normally suggest a glass of Khortytsa so early in the day, but somehow I feel the need.