Time and date: mid-morning, 27 May 2019.
Scene: The office of the MFC Mykolaiv’s chairman.
Cast: the chairman; Grigor Pasha; and Anotoliy Didenko.
CHAIRMAN: Are, here’s Didenko, your assistant manager. Didenko, let me intodruce you to your new manager.
DIDENKO: Mr Blyznyuk…
CHAIRMAN: Er, no, Didenko. This isn’t Mr Blyznyk. Mr Blyznyk did indeed start work here as the new manager this morning, but you weren’t here early enough to catch him. I, er, fired him just before morning coffee. This is Mr Pasha.
DIDENKO: Pleased to meet you, Mr Pasha. I hope to enjoy a long and fruitful working relationship.
[They shake hands.]
CHAIRMAN: Yes, yes, quite. We value loyalty here, don’t we, Didenko. You’ll find nothing short-termist about us, Pasha. I’m even considering applying for an Investors in People award, you know.
DIDENKO: Perhaps I could give you my report on the squad?
PASHA: Yes, I’d be grateful for that. And please call me Grigor, by the way.
CHAIRMAN: Good work, Didenko. And I’ve already sent Pasha an outline of our remarkable history, which he’s particularly keen to read.
DIDENKO: Our what?
CHAIRMAN: Our remarkable history.
DIDENKO: Oh, right. Yes, that one. I mean, well, yes, I suppose being thrice relegated from the Ukrainian Premier is pretty remarkable. In fact, we’re the only club to achieved that feat.
CHAIRMAN: People-centred, with a glorious tradition, that’s us, Blyz… er, Pasha.