FAO: The Chairman of Neftochimic 1962

Dear Mr Danchev,

Thank you for your evaluation of my performance as of 1 November 2022.

I agree that September proved a disappointing month.

I would like to draw your attention to one aspect of our play, namely goalkeeper performance. Young Ivaylov Iliev is an improving goalie with plenty of potential. But at present he’s not really quite up to first team football.

He needs to sharpen up his reflexes and, in particular, continue to improve his reflexes. You may have noticed the latter, particularly in one-on-ones.

You may well ask why, if he’s not yet good enough, I keep picking him.

The main answer to that is Pavel Zdravkov.

You may remember Pavel. For the last three years he’s been our first-choice keeper. And club captain. In fact, only recently you agreed to fund him for a leadership course to further improve his captaincy.

You may also remember that he used to have a clause in his contract that would allow other clubs to buy him for £40k. In response to serious interest in Pavel from Russian clubs I gave him a new contract, with considerably enhanced wages, in order to get rid of that contract.

And why hasn’t Pavel been playing this autumn?

Because, two and a half hours before the end of deadline day, you went behind my back and sold him, that’s why. Without, of course, consulting me.

And then, when his understudy got injured, I had no choice but to pick young Iliev.

This isn’t the first time you’ve taken transfers matter into your own hands. It’s the third time. None of your decisions have been good, but this was the most foolish.

Given the stupidity of your transfer decisions, I can’t reflecting that it would have been better if you’d left the footballing decisions to me and concerned yourself only with the business decisions.

In fact, given that when I arrived here I found that directors were regularly having to dip into their personal accounts to lend the club money and that we’ve been profitable for two years and have a healthy bank balance, it may have been better if you’d left all the business decisions to me too.

But we don’t have to worry about all that now, because I have decided, with immediate effect, that you should no longer have the honour of employing my services.

I’m proud to say that I’m leaving the club in better shape than I found it. In Ludogorets, we have an A1 senior affiliate. And we have several fine young players who represent valuable assets in all senses of the word.

Sadly, that probably isn’t going to be enough to prevent you from wrecking the club.

May I, though, offer you a word of advice? As, in your wisdom, you will no doubt take over responsibility for all footballing matters, including team selection, it may be helpful for you to know that most teams, I think you’ll find, like to play with goalkeepers.

Maybe you should look for one? I hear Septemvri Sofia bought a good one recently.

You absolute bellend.

Yours sincerely,

Grigor Pasha

PS When she heard I was leaving, your wife told me that during my time here she had enjoyed ‘playing at a higher level’. I don’t know what she meant by that.

 

 

 

 

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